Have you ever wanted to standout obnoxiously in a foreign country? Tired of panama hats, Under Armour®, and high performance cameras?
If you are gringo on a busy schedule, but still enjoy being stared down by everyone in town, then look no further. Introducing the all-in-one Alien Suit™. Finally be recognized as the extraterrestrial everyone seems to think you are!
“Hola amigos…quieren compartir una cerveza con migo?”
EZ Fit™
Get rid of your cumbersome fanny packs, roller suitcases, and noise cancelling headphones and join the new wave. Simply force your legs into skin tight latex.
Its sleek design incorporates the classic narrow head look with that signature – I want to devour you with my face – smile. Using advanced polymers bathed in dark green paint, this suit really captures the essence of mal-formed alien ribs.
It’s all about Perspiration
Not sweating enough? The snug air tight fit, makes the Alien Suit™ perfect for hot and humid climates. You’ll be practically drenched before you walk outside. Build that great gringo musk of Old Spice and B.O., without lifting a finger. Give swamp ass a whole new meaning!
Not convinced?
Check out these real life testimonials
Joe from Ohio says:
“Before, people just looked at me like ET. I was a friend with a funny voice who always had to phone home. Now people clutch their organs for fear of my egg sacks.”
Mary from Michigan says:
“I was tired of getting cat calls from the local guys. Now when I walk down the street, they run home to their wives.”
On a budget?
With only eight small payments of $19.99* the Alien Suit™ can be yours. Simply set aside next week’s food and travel budget. It’s an investment with returns that last a lifetime.
Unwieldy tail included.
*Price subject to in-country inflation
Revolución PanAmericana 