New Global Acronyms Take the World by Storm

So mid-2000s

An elusive MIST hangs over the soggy BRIC.  The darlings of the developing world – Brazil, Russia, China and India – have been outshined by new kids on the economic bloc.  Once again, Goldman Sachs has coined another global acronym, this time to classify a group of second tier, but more agile rising powers.  With the stroke of four keys, Mexico, Indonesia, South Korea and Turkey became the MIST.

But, their ascension into the world of invented global acronyms has irked many other countries eager to gain notoriety in the international arena.  The creation of the BRIC generated hype for these rising powers, leading other enterprising nations to petition for their very own acronyms.

Many have tried combinations that help dispel stereotypes and negative perceptions about their countries.  LUCKY, is a federation formed by the often less fortunate Libya, Uganda, Cambodia, Kosovo and Yemen.  With headquarters in beautiful Benghazi, LUCKY hopes for a radical rebranding.  Meanwhile, Somalia and Iraq have sought to shed their chaotic image by partnering with the uneventful countries of Kazakhstan, Canada, Kyrgyzstan, Armenia and Suriname.  Together they form KICKASS.

Others – Gautemala, Ecuador, Tanzania, Jordan, Israel, Greece, Ghana and Yemen – just want to GETJIGGY with it.  The delegation is in talks for the creation of a super coalition with the PARTYHARD nations of Poland, Australia, Republic of the Congo, Turkey, Yemen, Honduras, Algeria, Russia, and Denmark.  However, controversy shrouds the latter group over a disagreement with North Korea, which claims that its country, formally known as the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK), puts the Democratic Peoples Republic in PARTYHARD.

To show solidarity and perhaps gain some residual stardom from global pop sensation and heartthrob Justin Bieber, Bolivia, Iran, Ecuador, Brazil, Ethiopia, Russia, Finland, Eritrea, Venezuela, Equatorial Guinea and the Republic of the Congo, have come to represent BIEBERFEVER.  In a recent conference, they agreed upon a platform for global change and released this video as a teaser.

Meanwhile, Weakleaks, the less famous cousin of Wikileaks, has caused a row in Washington’s diplomatic circles after leaked cables showed the designation of troubled countries into an unsavory acronym.  PROBLEMS, composed of Paraguay, Russia, Oman, Bosnia, Libya, El Salvador, Myanmar and Somalia, began as a cheap joke, but evolved into a minor security commission.  Stable and wealthy Oman was most offended by the designation.  A hacked email from a US official revealed that the oil rich Mideast country was merely filler to complete the word. Both Oman and its neighbor Yemen are in high demand, for they control access to the only O and Y.

But, others have taken the acronym craze with a grain of salt.  As one Libyan scholar of international relations put it, “Hey, if you are LUCKY enough to KICKASS at your PROBLEMS, then PARTYHARD and GETJIGGY with BIEBERFEVER.”  None-the-less, it will be interesting to see the evolution of these blocs as the balance of world power continues to shift.

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